More lies my students tell me

1.
Hayley: Do you want to hear something weird?

Me: Okay.

Hayley: This boy at my school, as soon as he goes into the bathroom, he takes off his shoe and starts eating his toenails!

Me: Ewwww! Wait, you can’t go into the boy’s bathroom. How do you know he does that?

Hayley: He’s not a boy. He’s a girl.

Me: He’s a girl?

Hayley: Yeah, he’s a girl.

Me: He’s a girl?

Hayley: Okay, I was just playing with you that time. But here’s something really weird…

2.
Safiyyah: When my mother gets sick, she screams so loud, she goes, “Eyyyyaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaghhhhhhhhhh” and everybody in the whole building hears it and they are scared, and then she goes to the park and she kills everyone.

Me: Hold on. Did you just say your mom goes to the park and kills everyone?

Safiyyah: No, but she goes to the park, and she sees the people there, and she kills them.

Me: So your mom goes to the park and kills people?

Safiyyah: No, she only kills the Somali people. She doesn't kill the white people like you.

Me: Okay, but you’re saying that your mom goes to the park and kills people.

Safiyyah: No, I said that she goes to the park and she is nice to people.


3.
The following was said to me in all honesty, but I'll just throw it in there.

Kadijah: I like you the best. You have pretty hair.